Where are the Jokes???

[Susan Anthony]

Found this and wanted to put it on the jokes section - but alas my mind is returning but my eye sight is obviously suspect

Thought this worth sharing with anyone needing a smile

[Grant]

The one on the right is Greenpeace, but the one of the left is obviously Sea Shepherd :D

[Susan Anthony]

just what I was thinking - that's frightening, but I didnt say it.

[ATO2]

Originally Posted by Susan Anthony

just what I was thinking - that's frightening, but I didnt say it.

They remind me of somebody...I can't quite place it. One is a lawyer, the other a car salesman?

[Grant]

Originally Posted by Susan Anthony

just what I was thinking - that's frightening, but I didnt say it.

talking of which, you need to get blogging young lady. That module cost me loads

[ATO2]

Well, here's one of my favourites:
Hey, how typical of today:

Be sure to cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now it is somewhere around $60.00.
A family member placed a call to the ANZ Bank:
Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'
ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
ANZ:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member:
'So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
ANZ:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
ANZ:
'Excuse me?'
Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her being dead?'
ANZ:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
(Supervisor gets on the phone)
Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'
ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
ANZ:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member:
'No, I'm her great nephew.'
(Lawyer info given)
ANZ:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member:
'Sure.'
(fax number is given )
After they get the fax:
ANZ:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.'
ANZ:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'
Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'
ANZ:
'That might help.'
Family Member:
'Greenwood Memorial Cemetery, 1250 Jones Rd, Auckland, Plot Number 1049.'
ANZ:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member:
'Well, what the hell do you do with dead people on your planet?'

Yes, I like that - its almost like talking to politicians!

Originally Posted by Grant

talking of which, you need to get blogging young lady. That module cost me loads

Yes, its on my mind and have some good stuff - the better half is fed up with my weather and whales stuff. When Greenpeace left on New Years Eve he was such a happy man! anyway I drank a little too much one night and in my weakend state agreed to stay away from the 2 W's for a fortnight And if I could not do it, I would clean out his pick up - he has never, ever, cleaned it out, it has bacteria not known to man kind in it! So, now I am on the laptop in the old beekeeping shed down the bottom of the field, so as not to get caught. I keep coming down in the middle of the night (claiming jet lag) and when everyone is distracted sneeking around the internet and looking at the W's situation.

This reply proves I can not do it! but what he does not know wont hurt him??

Sue

[ATO2]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Yes, its on my mind and have some good stuff - the better half is fed up with my weather and whales stuff. When Greenpeace left on New Years Eve he was such a happy man! anyway I drank a little too much one night and in my weakend state agreed to stay away from the 2 W's for a fortnight And if I could not do it, I would clean out his pick up - he has never, ever, cleaned it out, it has bacteria not known to man kind in it! So, now I am on the laptop in the old beekeeping shed down the bottom of the field, so as not to get caught. I keep coming down in the middle of the night (claiming jet lag) and when everyone is distracted sneeking around the internet and looking at the W's situation.

This reply proves I can not do it! but what he does not know wont hurt him??

Sue

Hmmn. When I was married, I could have used that as an excuse when I came home late. "Sorry honey, I was talking to some whales and didn't realise the time."
Perhaps not?

[Susan Anthony]

As I am a none drinker, and we live at the opposite ends of the world to each other, I was suprised he took that kind of advantage of the situation . These Kiwis are not like the Irish male.